Daar is 'n gay Pastoor in my kop.

“Die kontroversiële saak van homoseksualiteit in die kerk vorm die kern van die boek. Die outeur het aanvanklik geweier om sy homoseksualiteit te aanvaar en was uiteindelik oortuig dat dit slegs ‘n duiwel is wat uitgedryf moet word. As jongman ontmoet hy ‘n vrou met wie hy later trou, hy word pa en ook ‘ suksesvolle AGS Pastoor in Johannesburg. Maar as mens bly hy ontevrede en onvervuld. Die hart van die storie dui hoe sy vrou van hom skei, hy uiteindelik sy homoseksualiteit aanvaar en vrede en geluk vind in sy verhouding met Johan.

Die boek is ‘n duidelike maar ook pynlike uitbeelding van die wroeging wat ‘n gay man ervaar……..Philip Liebenberg is huidiglik pastoor by Die Kapel in Melville, Johannesburg” – Daar’s ‘n Gay Pastoor in my kop geskryf deur Phillip Liebenberg.

Natuurlik koop ek mos toe die boek. Dis min dat ons hier in my dorpie op gay-lit afkom. Behalwe vir die haarkapper (oviaas) is ons die enigste gay ouens hier op die dorp wat braaf (en ja dis die regte woord) genoeg is, en die “audacity” het om ‘n verhouding te hê.

“Oi wei!” Skree die kerk en maak groot oë. Snaaks genoeg was die Pastoor van wie ek in my skrywe Pastor say:”God can’t accept you if you’re gay.” geskryf het ook ‘n ou AGS fosiel gewees. Eers was ek baie, baie kwaad vir hom.

Hy het dit amper reg gekry om ‘n baie opregte en intense soeke na God morsdood te slaan met sy woorde:”Jy is nie welkom voor God nie. Kies tussen God en jou aanstaande, dan kom jy terug na my toe as jy God gekies het.”

Dit was natuurlik gesê met die mooiste glimlagie op sy lippe, en ek kan met alle eerlikheid vandag sê dat ek GEEN van God se liefde in daardie pastorie gevoel het nie.

Oom Pastoor, ja, jy wat so lekker oor jou belt borrel. Ek voel ek wil vir jou ook ‘n paar dinge sê.

Jy weet, jy is al in die 30 jaar getroud. In daai tyd het jy nog nie een aand alleen gaan slaap nie. Jy het ‘n seun. Jy gaan eendag kleinkinders en agter-kleinkinders hê. Jy word nooit snaaks aangekyk nie. Daar word nie van jou verwag om elke dag “konsert” te hou terwyl jou hart siek is van alleen wees nie.

Ek is gelukkig, ek KAN vir myself dink. Ek besef hoe verkeerd jy en jou kerk is teenoor gay mense. Ek weet darem dat die kerk nie God is nie. Duisende ander gay persone besef dit wel nie, en dis oor hulle wat ek wil jy moet dink.

Hoeveel gay mense het nie soos ek voor ‘n Pastorie se deur te staan gekom, net om verwerp te word nie? Hoeveel van hulle het nie daar en dan omgedraai en nooit weer terug gegaan nie? Is jou werk nie om God se kinders (en dis ons almal, glo dit of nie) voor die kruis te kry nie?

Ek is nie ‘n teoloog nie, so ek gaan nie verse begin rondgooi nie. Ek weet wel dat daar net ±5 versies in die hele bybel is wat homoseksualiteit aanspreek. En altyd in die konteks van welus, of iets soortsgelyks. En dan is daar ‘n vetalings kwessie, en die konteks waarin die vers geskryf was, wie die skrywer was, wat sy bedoelinge was. Duisend en een dinge wat dit kon beinvloed.

Jy het my weg gewys by God. Jy het gesê ek is nie welkom by God nie want, en hoe was jou woorde nou weer? “…want die kerk, en ek self ook voel so”

Die God wat ek as kind leer ken het, voor ek van seks iets af geweet het, was ‘n God wat vir almal lief is. Wat sy seun gestuur het om vir sondaars te kom sterf (nl. Ons almal. Jy ingelsuit) Hy was ‘n God wat nie onderskei het tussen sondes nie. Of miskien was daai een die God vir hetroseksuele mense? Hoekom dink ek nie so nie?

God is nie jou besitting nie Oom Pastoor, hou op om Hom net aan jou en die wat soos jy dink toe te eien. Hy is daar vir ons almal, en ons is Sy besitting.

(Original Posting can be found here, and it was written by me).

How do I know my husband is gay?

This title was a search term someone used to find my blog. I wish I could answer it. I have met some dudes, straight dudes, that were more feminine than any gay boy I know. They might have been feminine in the way they  carried themselves, but they were good family men.

The wife adored him. The children went gaga over him. He was good at conversation. He was caring and intelligent. You never can say from just looking at a person. Sure, you can see when he is looking back at you, you can read what he wants. Unless there is some form of communication, you would not know.

If a wife should be worried about whether her husband is gay, it's just sad. Ask him is about the only advice I can give you. Do not judge, or attack, just ask.

Once you received an answer, you should handle it. No amount of yelling or screaming will change the fact that he is gay. I know, I would most probably freak out, but will it help the situation?

A gay husband is not a bad man, or an uncaring father.

He is just a man, who happens to be gay...

Mexico city legalizes gay marriages while Uganda kills homosexuals

Only seven countries in the world allow gay marriages: Canada, Spain, South Africa, Sweden, Norway, the Netherlands and Belgium. US states that permit same-sex marriage are Iowa, Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and New Hampshire.

 Mexico city is now part of the above group.

Comments from Mexican officials :

“Mexico City will become a centre, where (gay) people from all over the world will be able to come and have their wedding, and then spend their honeymoon here,”

“We are already in talks with some travel agencies that are planning to offer package tours that include flights, hotels, guides, and everything they need for the wedding, like banquets,”

“We are going to become a city on a par with Venice or San Francisco” 

Let us think for a minute.

According to Community Marketing Inc, a tourism research company that specialize in GLBT consumers, the economical impact from GLBT travelers in America alone is about $70bn!!

It is sad that a country, any country, justifies our right to marriage through "Dollars and Cents", something that South Africa never did ( we had other issues at the time)

Yet, I am happy that we came this far. Still a lot of work to be done, don't slack!!

We have brothers and sisters in Uganda, that get HUNTED for being gay. I don't exaggerate. The general public are obliged to report homosexual activity within 24 hours or risk three years in jail. Upon a "guilty" verdict, there is the death sentence.

It's a witch hunt I tell you.

It's murder.

Free Gay Porn and culture.

What a laugh! You ever tried to google that? It's a waste.

Sites like X-tube just waste your cap. And most of the others keep on redirecting you to everything it did not promise. Shitty pictures plastered all over adverts, flashing, begging you to pay $1.00 for a load of crap. Strange that South Africa has so few porn stars, trust me, I've seen some Hunks around town.

Maybe the South African culture is still to biblical in relation to the rest of the world. Over here, the Huisgenoot, or better known as "Huilgenoot" writes about an old lady that became famous for doing pole dancing with a snake when she was young. Now she is old, married, and a reborn Christian, how nice!

Now we can all forgive her, and move on. WTF?

I find it difficult to believe that people could be so gullible as to believe that reading about a former "sinner", makes them holy. Stop the bullshit. Don't you see a pattern?

...and who the fuck do we think we are to judge others?

Joost and Amor, open relationship after a huge scandal, good for you! If it works for you, go for it.

Steve, well, he is Steve. He is GORGEOUS, and sometimes he can sing as well. Not that I give a shit about that. I do not own one of his cd's, but I would do him. It's that thing he does with his eyes. That look. Which look? The one that looks like he's gonna fuck you up, but with a glint of hope that he might just fuck you in a whole other way.

I'll forgive him anything, no matter how many babies he makes with "other women", because I am fickle and whimsical and in general a Steve groupie.

Moving on....

So, what this comes down to is this. Let other people live their lives. Stop building a view from what you read in cheap magazines (well, not alway cheap but you get what I'm saying).

Lift you fat arse out of the couch and start living a life where you could get some exposure to real issues.

Like Global warming, The shitty way the Dalai Lama is being treated. Nigerians whoring our local kids out on the street, crime in general.

Ag, the list is endless. Just don't start thinking that you could judge others for the way they live their lives.

Ok, I see I am writing about everything except for what the topic promises you to read. Typical me, such a Queen.....

Bla-Bla-Bla...

Glove Puppet

I have been an avid reader since my school days, and no book has ever captivated me like a book written by Neal Drinnan called Glove Puppet.

It's starts of with a boy called Vaslav, who has a bit of a sordid past and a tenous future. He was found on a train station by a stranger whilst his mother, a prostitute, died of a drug overdose on the station just minutes before.

The strange man took him to Australia and he passed him of as his own, recently deceased son. Vaslav lived a life of privilege in Australia, as the son of a gay man.

As the boy grew older, he realized that there is still a lot of his previous life lurking in the shadows of his existence. He subsequently initiates a dangerous love affair, one that threatens to destroy him, and all his loved ones.

Glove Puppet is a brilliant novel where love and transgressions, sex and manipulation, collapse upon each other, and where the best intentions yield the worst results.

Does God love Gays?

Pastor say:”God can’t accept you if you’re gay.”

This was what the local Pastor said to me, after I went to see him during this week. I have had a real intense want to meet with God, to find him and build a relationship with him. My issue was not with sexuality.

When did men start thinking that they know the heart of God? When did they receive that chip on their shoulders? I would have thought that the main concern would be to get me to the cross, let God decide if He wants me. I am getting married in less than a month to my partner of three years. I love him. I refuse to think that God would have made me gay, and expects me to live a life of celibacy for the rest of my days.

There may still be a few knowledgeable people who do not believe this, but practically all behavioral scientists now accept this statement as a fact. Down through history same-gender sex was universally considered to be acts by (heterosexual) people who had chosen to engage in perverted sex. Advances in the sciences, particularly psychology, in the last 100 years have shown that not all people are heterosexual; some are homosexual, and their homosexuality is an unchangeable nature, not a choice.